after months of preparation, the wedding festivities are over, and my free time is just that again - free. rick and i gave ourselves a few days to ease back into "normal" life after the flurry of activity (one of the many blessings of being self-employed). but then it was time to get back to work. a very long list of things to do was waiting for me, and i no longer had my sister's wedding as a reason for delay.
the general theme of the last few weeks for me has been, "be proactive." nothing to do with proactiv, the jessica simpson, p. diddy endorsed facewash. everything to do with the not-just-sitting-back-hoping-things-will-get-done-and-work-out kind of proactive. as fearful as i often am, and as much of a procrastinator as i can often be, i've really been hunkering down and accomplishing things that i've been putting off for months. i've decided on a name for my art - my own! i've looked into tax stuff, insurance stuff, etc. i've pretty much been doing all the not-so-fun things that a person needs to do when they're self-employed and in business for themselves. it feels good to have these things completed (or at least in the works), to be able to check them off my "to-do" lists. to be "doing the work."
getting these things done is a huge victory, because even the smallest decisions or tasks to be completed regarding my art are often surrounded by fear and doubt. the only way i've been able to do any of this is by leaning into God, being brave, fighting the fear, and trusting Him.
the last few weeks i've been coming to realize that the fear, insecurity, and doubts are probably always going to be waiting for me. but there's hope. God continues to be patient with me, sending truth and encouragement my way on a daily basis (when my eyes - and heart - are open enough to see and receive it).
ultimately, i'm going to have to choose whether to give in to the fears as they come - or to fight against them.
i know that the fight is going to be hard (it definitely has been up to this point). but some things are worth the fight, aren't they?
today i'm praying that we would all have the courage and strength to be proactive, to fight for those things that are worth fighting for. much love to you, friends...